Turning 40

Midlife... they say this is the halfway point.

I don't aspire to ever reach the age of 80, so I think I'm way past my midlife, probably 5 or 10 years ago.

People at work have been so sweet. Some came up to kiss me while I was on a call and it was sooooo distracting but a welcome distraction nevertheless. Others would hug me close. It was so touching!

I've had something like a hailstorm of email greetings and text message greetings in my cellphone. Of course, my family called up to greet me. So, so happy!

Today, I was awake at the stroke of midnight on my birthday. This is the third time in my life that I was ever awake at midnight on my birthday. The first time was on my 30th birthday. I had dinner with my best girl friend and my closest male friend. It was at Bennigan's. The restaurant staff served a miniature cake topped with a sparkling candle and they sang me a jazzy rendition of Happy Birthday. That was sooooo embarrasing. But I so enjoyed that night.

The second time I was awake at the stroke of midnight on my birthday was last year. I had just started working as a call girl... oops, a call center girl, that is. My shift started at 10 o'clock in the evening. No one knew then that it was my birthday because I kept the date to myself.

Today, for the third time in my life, I was awake at the stroke of midnight on my birthday. My shift starts at 12 o'clock midnight. These first 10 hours of my birthday were some of the most memorable 10 hours of my life. I am soooo lucky to be in this account. Even if the pressures of work can be too much at times, I am inspired by the love of the people who became close to me in my workplace. People here get close so easily because it's like you're together in the trenches of a battlefield and it's a war out there!

I am amazed that these people like me so much. Most of them are almost half my age. Yet, there is no generation gap. Inspite of the age difference, they consider me their friend. They say it's because I don't impose my opinions on them. They also say I don't boss them around like most older people. The reason for this, of course, is that I am of the opinion that "a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still."

I love these kids! Especially in my small circle. And they like me back because they say I can relate to them. It helped that I used to teach people almost the same age as them before I worked in the call center.

Lessons in the past come to the surface. Somehow, all those lessons learned just add to the reasons why I appreciate life more. Now I have learned to look forward.

I'm looking forward to a lot of things. Travelling, reading new books, spending time with my niece and nephews. In fact, on this long weekend, I'm planning to spend time with my nephew in Pangasinan.

As Forrest Gump's momma told him, "... you've got to put the past behind you before you can move on." And that's exactly what I'm going to do!

Sisters at Heart

we call each other "sis"... coz we're sisters at heart!

we first met when we were both 13... from the start the sisterhood never wavered...

she has weird views... other people will not consider normal...

i have weird views... other people will consider abnormal...

she can follow my train of thought like she's right inside my brain, but i feel totally comfortable with that... my mind can twist and turn like a locomotive gone out of control but she's there holding on...

she knows what i feel even before i speak out loud what i feel...

she's my worst critic but the best shoulder in the world to cry on...

MY BESTFRIEND!!!

Sometimes she has borne the brunt of my stupidity but she is still there... picking me up, dusting me off, and giving me a piece of her mind.

Once, I took the words of that mushy duet of Celine Dion and Barbara Streisand to heart... "Tell Him" in which the chorus blares out:

Tell him
Tell him that the sun and moon
Rise in his eyes
Reach out to him
And whisper
Tender words so soft and sweet
Hold him close to feel his heart beat
Love will be the gift you give yourself

Now THAT guy thinks I'm kind of a stalker or something... and what's cruel is that he has decided that any form of communication he gets from my bestfriend is actually coming from me! He will not answer any text message or email from her because he believes that I'm the one sending those messages and not my bestfriend. For crying out loud, this happened almost ten years ago and he still thinks I have my sights set on him! If that's not soooooo crazy, I should be rolling on the floor laughing my head off. But it's not so funny now... and to think that for the last five years, I have been nurturing the hope that the friendship could somehow still be salvaged. Nu-uh!!!

Another time, she caught me on the verge of doing something that she refused to mess with herself. Right from the start, she was already nagging me not to do it... but it was such a new experience for me that I was compelled to still go thru with it. And eventually, when the sky fell, as it was bound to, she was there, not to say "I told you so!" but to pull me through the worst.

One of her other friends once asked her how I could stand to be her friend when she was so contrary, and she answered him, because we're the same and we love each other.

I don't remember ever being hurt by her. I don't remember hurting her either.

Yet, people say when friends hurt each other and then reconcile, the friendship grows stronger.

With us, even without hurting each other ever, the bonding grows stronger each year.

Our closeness has been misinterpreted once. At an intersection, a few years back, she was driving the car and I was seated beside her in the front seat. It was Valentine season. A male flower vendor was carrying bouquets of roses to sell to passing motorists and she had stopped for a red sign. Then she leaned over to lay her head on my shoulder, just to cuddle. The vendor mistakenly thought we were lovers and he offered a bouquet to her so she can purchase it for me. We were laughing so hard we didn't notice the traffic lights had changed to green, the drivers behind us were honking their horns madly.

We have different tastes in most everything...

When we order chicken inasal, she prefers the thigh, I ask for the breast part.

She's allergic to chicken, though, so she eats in moderation. I can eat chicken everyday.

I'm allergic to shrimp and crabs, whereas these are her favorite seafoods, other than molluscs.

When she sees a cockroach, she will stamp on it. I'm squeamish about killing anything. I'd rather let the roach run out the door.

She likes to debate. I'd rather keep my opinions to myself unless someone asks. We're both opinionated though.

She's traveled outside the country. I prefer to visit all the places I want to visit in the country before planning any trips outside it.

She wants to go out of the country to work. I refuse to participate in the brain drain.

She smokes like a chimney. I can't stand cigarette smoke. But because of her, I'm a second hand smoker.

She can't swallow tablets, capsules, or caplets, any medication in oral form. I am so much of a pill-popper, people sometimes think I'm an addict.

We do have several things in common though. But the one thing we really enjoy together, drinking Coca-Cola!

My fervent hope and wish is that when our purpose in life has already been fulfilled, we can go to a mountain retreat (my choice) or to a beach retreat (her choice) to live out the rest of our lives, still together!

McBealisms

"You know what makes my problems bigger than anyone else's? They're mine!"


If you think back and replay your year, and if it doesn't bring you tears either joy or sadness, consider that year wasted.

I'm not ashamed of wanting somebody to love--I never have been, because I had it once. But maybe, I never really had it.

There's no sin in loving men. Only pain!

We're not only wired to want what we can't have, but we're also wired to want what we really don't want.